Toolbox

Control versus connection

There are people who I love or admire who have chaotic kitchens, uncomfortable cars, shop in supermarkets, or expect me to respond to spontaneous invitations.

Business Cards

In 2021 the prospect of introducing myself triggers me to feign death. I lower my eyelids, hold very still, and breathe carefully in hope that my predator will lose interest or become distracted. Like other

15 Minutes

When faced with large and intimidating tasks, we often delay, waiting for a gap that rarely appears on time. Days, weeks, and months pass with no progress. Looking back, it’s easy to see that one

Bender

It will be never be the most important thing to write a note telling someone how much you appreciate them, or wrap and package and slog to the post office to send a gift for

Enough

All this destructiveness cannot be haphazard. She is angry, at everyone, and herself.

Creativity

As this ritual has proven its worth, it is now my most fundamental commitment. It is a time-space devoted to creativity, blank and receptive, with beauty in sight, milky comforting coffee in one hand, and

Experiment

The hot workflow for innovation in Silicon Valley is to launch imperfect products, fail as fast as you can, be ready to lose your investment, pivot to the next iteration. Shouldn’t we run our personal

Disruption

As an artist my days and my walls stand ready, empty. I surround myself with thick blank paper and a blockade to deflect news and noise. On the surfaces ahead of my fingertips, coffee turns

Certainty v civility

My job at the moment is to learn how to be in relationship again. With another flawed human. One who like me, is old enough to have preferences and processes. Favorite dish sponges, certainty about

Shahatalamula

‘Shahatalamula’ is a word made by Andrea Godshalk for a category of things we found on our to-do lists – the things carried from one day’s list to another’s but never checked off, for weeks

Naming

Ursula K. LeGuin is a feminist science-fiction author. In her essay “The Carrier Bag Theory of Fiction” she constructs an anthropology of story: stories have conflicts, action, a hero, weapons, hunters. Gathering, on the other

Collaboration

I have been looking for a way to connect with people who I can’t dance with. With an otherwise useless man I found connection in the garden, weeding, harvesting, tying. We conflicted terribly in any

Honor

We are surrounded by gorgeous, gracious, and complicated objects, people, and systems. To honor what is keeps us in contact with the pleasures and lessons. Doing so mandates various actions: Acknowledging and celebrating people’s contributions.

Shouldguilt

You can keep yourself very busy doing things the way your father did it – or trying to do the opposite, or whatever your personal flavor of “being a good person” looks like. Technology can

The right to solitude

She’s 26 and her profession seems to be taking sexy photos of herself and keeping track of thousands of likes. Everyone on the farm seems very impressed. She feels sorry for me and constantly invites

Communicative Immediacy

I lived and worked for two months with a three generation Italian family. To my sensibilities it seemed that everyone was screaming at each other all the time. No one ever communicated something in a

Your body is a temple

Originally a Christian concept from Corinthians 6:19 “What? Do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God, and that you

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Clean

I feel like goldilocks. Every house is either too clean or too dirty for me. The too clean people seem to be avoiding more serious tasks, serving some inherited templates, or punishing themselves for some

Debrief

Every project needs a debriefing…vacations, repairs, dinner parties, collaborations, relationships… This way you can acknowledge your power, how you used it, and how you can use it better. Here’s how to do it: First make