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Finding satisfaction requires extensive experimentation, detailed observation, pattern-tracking, and a measure of tenderness.
At the start of one of these tasks I no longer presume to imagine a timeline. I just start making regular visits and forays, initially 15-20 minutes long. [1] Go look at it. Then go have a cup of coffee
All this destructiveness cannot be haphazard. She is angry, at everyone, and herself.
There are people who I love or admire who have chaotic kitchens, uncomfortable cars, shop in supermarkets, or expect me to respond to spontaneous invitations.